So, why did you decide to be a therapist?
Holly: As a teen, I started thinking about it. It was intriguing to me and I always wanted to work with kids. Also, because I was rather a shy and introverted person, working with people on a one to one basis had a lot of appeal for me. In the 7th or 8th grade, I thought that when I grew up I would either be a lawyer for children or a child Psychologist; I would live alone in an apartment and have a German Shepard as a pet.

Well, is that the way it turned out?
Holly: a little bit; I married young, have two kids and I am a child Psychotherapist… But, no German Shepard.

Why no German Shepard?
Holly: I got a Chow instead.

They’re nothing like German Shepard’s, What gives on that?
Holly: Hey! I was only 12 at the time… let it go (laughing)

All right then, answer this. Is being a therapist, how you imagined it would be as a 12 year old?
Holly: No… Not at all… I thought I d be interpreting dreams, delving into a patients childhood, solving everyone’s problems and making everyone as happy as they could be.
 
In other words, Newhart?
Holly: Yup… but the reality is that it’s more like Dr. Phil…

On a serious note, what’s the difficult part about being a therapist?
Holly: That feeling of helplessness you get that no matter what your patient is doing right, outside influences keep knocking them down. I want my patients to reach their goals. Sometimes, regardless of their best efforts, it just isn’t going to happen at this particular time.

Do you feel like a failure when therapy isn’t working for someone?
Holly: No, I don t personally feel like a failure; but it’s frustrating and sometimes I think I should have tried a different approach or strategy. I think most of us get frustrated when we feel like we’re not pulling it off, don’t you?

Yes… with me I’ve either failed to follow my instincts or… its just an unsolved mystery. No pun intended.

Is there anything I haven’t asked that you would like people to know?
Holly: Well… there has never been a time in my life when I had any doubt that I would do anything else, other than be a therapist. I feel very fortunate to have known at such a young age where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. I realize that this is usually not how it goes for many people.

Last question: In that I was instrumental in helping you get started, is there anything particularly pleasant, that you’d like to say about me?
Holly:… thinking… very long pause…

Nothing Huh?
Holly: No… not really.

You think I’m to fat… don’t you…
Holly: You could lose a couple of pounds…

You asked me why I wanted to be a therapist; knowing that you have been a therapist for more than thirty years, what has kept you in the profession?
Gary: The importance of the work… and knowing that I’m making a very big difference in peoples lives.

How does making a difference in other peoples lives, make a difference in your life?
Gary: It’s very fulfilling. At one time in my life I studied to be a priest; I’m certainly glad that I didn’t continue with that; but honestly, I feel that much of the work of my life as a therapist has had a very priest-like component to it; in the best, non-religious, sense of the word.

How do you avoid bringing your work and stress home with you?
Gary: Well, I’m not always successful with that. When snow skiing last year, as I was racing down the slopes, a picture of one particular patient flashed before my eyes (and she knows who she is)… (laughter)… but the best way not to bring your work home with you is to have your own good life… and I do.

You can be pretty funny at times, where does that come from?
Gary: From my Irish parents. My mother had a very dry wit and my father was slapstick funny. I get a blend of both.
 
So I’ve noticed… but do you think your patients appreciate your humor… and bluntness?
Gary: How did “bluntness” get in there? I d like to think of myself as being casually straight forward; but seriously, Betty, timing is crucial with humor and I generally use it to calm people down. I think many people have a preconceived notion that therapists are humorless and tediously formal… and some are…

When a patient comes to see you, what can they expect?
Gary: I m going to ask them how I can be of help. Some will begin to talk and others say that they don’t know where to begin.

How do you respond to that?
Gary: I tell them to begin in the middle and we’ll work our way back to the beginning; that usually catches them off guard and then I’ll simply ask them what’s going on in their life; that usually gets them going.

What do you say to someone who says they don’t want to be there?
Gary: I tell them that I don’t blame them; talking about personal stuff is difficult even with people you know… and talking to a stranger, even a trained professional, can be even more uncomfortable and difficult. I tell them that I’ll make it as easy for them as I possibly can.

Rumor has it that you’re always late for your appointments; why is that?
Gary: I prefer to think of it as being strategically delayed but the truth of it is that my mother, may she rest in peace, is to blame for that one. She would often say, “Gary… Society always arrives late.” We were poor as church mice so I don’t know how she elevated us to the status of  “society.” …but the real answer is that sometimes people just need a little more time; and I give it to them.